We are officially "pretty much" settled in. Only a few boxes left to unpack! The move was hard. When we moved in, we had thought everyone was going to be set up. Come to find out, too late on Friday to do anything, the stove was broken. So, we had to wait until Tuesday to call them to come fix it which means 3+ days we ate out every single meal. However, I only gained 1 lb and have managed to lose that and some since the move last weekend!
Things are slowly starting to calm down. My husband and I are going to get me an exercise bike soon and he also promised me a kitten! I'm super excited that I get to go pick a cute kitten to come home with us. I miss having an animal to shower attention on and cuddle up too. Since we don't plan on having kids yet, a kitty will have to do.
Things in general have been good, though. I am losing weight slowly, but I "usually" am okay with that. I don't think I would stick to it if it wasn't something I could do in the long run.
On a more awkward note, I found out today that you can log sex into mynetdiary as a exercise! I always have thought it should be, because it's more of a work out than other things depending on what you're doing.
Sorry for the blatant too much information. I'm an over sharer.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Stressed..
I'm up to my ears in boxes.. Can't find a single thing.. Just realized a bunch of stuff that got packed that I need, including some all the food that didn't need to be in the fridge or freezer. And I am exhausted.
This week is going to be the death of me. If I get through this week without gaining, I will be one happy girl.
This week is going to be the death of me. If I get through this week without gaining, I will be one happy girl.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Packing + BBQ
Sadly, it's almost the end of the weekend and the start of my abnormally busy week. This week, I am working my normal 40 hours, plus moving. By next Saturday evening, we will be moved into our new home and surrounded by boxes there instead of here.
I'm excited about the move, but not looking forward to the business of the week. It's going to be crazy how much stuff we have to do. I'm really hoping my eating doesn't get pushed aside. If I end up in the McDonald's drive-through I'm going to be upset! We tried to plan out having some healthy options. I still went grocery shopping, but we kept it to a minimum. I bought my yogurt and granola and nugo bars for breakfast options, frozen meals and sandwich stuff for lunch, and dinner will most likely be easy options like grilled chicken sandwiches. We might eat out a few times though, but hopefully I can keep it together.
Today was a challenge, too. I went to DH's families for a BBQ. I had started off my day knowing I would probably overeat tonight, so had a light morning.
Breakfast:
grape flavoring for water - 20 calories
nugo bar - 170 calories
Lunch:
steak stir-fry with a cup of veggies - 529 calories
Dinner:
two hot dogs with 1 bun cut to be used for both - 275
very small serving of baked beans - 191 calories
half a brownie - 112 calories
Snacks:
cheetoes - 160 calories
white wine - 249 calories
grape water flavoring - 10 calories
Total for the day: 1835
Exercise - packed for quite a few hours.
I'm quite happy with that total. I had to do some sneaking around at the BBQ. People kept asking me if I wanted more, and I was actually forced to take a hamburger by my mother-in-law when I already had hot dogs, so I had one bite, then fed some to the dog. The dog was well fed, and I kept "mostly" within my calorie range.
I'm excited about the move, but not looking forward to the business of the week. It's going to be crazy how much stuff we have to do. I'm really hoping my eating doesn't get pushed aside. If I end up in the McDonald's drive-through I'm going to be upset! We tried to plan out having some healthy options. I still went grocery shopping, but we kept it to a minimum. I bought my yogurt and granola and nugo bars for breakfast options, frozen meals and sandwich stuff for lunch, and dinner will most likely be easy options like grilled chicken sandwiches. We might eat out a few times though, but hopefully I can keep it together.
Today was a challenge, too. I went to DH's families for a BBQ. I had started off my day knowing I would probably overeat tonight, so had a light morning.
Breakfast:
grape flavoring for water - 20 calories
nugo bar - 170 calories
Lunch:
steak stir-fry with a cup of veggies - 529 calories
Dinner:
two hot dogs with 1 bun cut to be used for both - 275
very small serving of baked beans - 191 calories
half a brownie - 112 calories
Snacks:
cheetoes - 160 calories
white wine - 249 calories
grape water flavoring - 10 calories
Total for the day: 1835
Exercise - packed for quite a few hours.
I'm quite happy with that total. I had to do some sneaking around at the BBQ. People kept asking me if I wanted more, and I was actually forced to take a hamburger by my mother-in-law when I already had hot dogs, so I had one bite, then fed some to the dog. The dog was well fed, and I kept "mostly" within my calorie range.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
My saturday
How many calories does packing burn off? I'm hoping a lot!
My apartment is about 75% packed now. Which is great, since both my husband and I still have to work full time this week and we're moving the end of the week.
Did pretty well today food wise despite eating way too many cheetos today. I kept it to only 2 meals, so I could budget for some cheetos and wine in my day. Definitely not the best way to go about things, since I'm now hungry. But it is midnight and I think I can just head to bed instead of eating. I wanted to be able to have what I was craving. The other two meals were pretty filling though - I had an ihop breakfast of pancakes, low calorie syrup, turkey bacon, and fruit. And then dinner I made a steak stir-fry. Didn't snack much, other than my cheetos and wine. End of the day: 1860 calories. I can definitely live with that considering I ate food I love and stayed close to my daily calories. Once in awhile eating out of the box isn't bad.
More packing tomorrow plus BBQ at DH's families. Dreading going back to work on Monday after being out sick Thursday and Friday. Just hoping my boss isn't upset and things go smoothly.
My apartment is about 75% packed now. Which is great, since both my husband and I still have to work full time this week and we're moving the end of the week.
Did pretty well today food wise despite eating way too many cheetos today. I kept it to only 2 meals, so I could budget for some cheetos and wine in my day. Definitely not the best way to go about things, since I'm now hungry. But it is midnight and I think I can just head to bed instead of eating. I wanted to be able to have what I was craving. The other two meals were pretty filling though - I had an ihop breakfast of pancakes, low calorie syrup, turkey bacon, and fruit. And then dinner I made a steak stir-fry. Didn't snack much, other than my cheetos and wine. End of the day: 1860 calories. I can definitely live with that considering I ate food I love and stayed close to my daily calories. Once in awhile eating out of the box isn't bad.
More packing tomorrow plus BBQ at DH's families. Dreading going back to work on Monday after being out sick Thursday and Friday. Just hoping my boss isn't upset and things go smoothly.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Oh yeah!
The best news of all from this past week, is that my husband promised to buy me an exercise bike that has a seat so I can sit in it comfortably. I am excited! I get to pick it out so it's one I really like and he said I could put it anywhere I want, but I'm figuring probably the living room in a corner, so I can work out while I catch up on my shows on television. That way I have no excuse to talk myself out of doing it. It'll be right there to do whenever I have the chance.
My new life
Friday is my official weigh-in day! And I'm darn proud of myself this week.
Start weight: 258.4
Last Friday's weight: 253.6
Current weight: 252.2
Difference: -1.4
Goal weight: 140
I've been doing a lot of thinking about what fuels the changes I am making. I realized that I have spent my entire adult life overweight. I've still lived my life and don't regret a thing because it's made me who I am. However, I want to see what else I am capable of doing now. I am in an amazing marriage with a guy who has easily accepted me at my highest weight, but also wants me to be healthy. And I think I finally have the self-confidence to make this a lifestyle change.
In the past, I would go on a diet because I hated my body. I hated the way I look and was worried about how people saw me. This time, I don't hate myself. I get told I'm beautiful every single day and am starting to actually let it sink in. And, I don't really care how people see me because I know that no matter what, I have someone at home who sees me for the best I ever am. Through the love of my husband, I have learned to love myself in a way I never had before. I'm not unhappy. Actually, I'm the complete opposite. I'm happier than I have been in my entire life. And weirdly, I feel like it's the exact thing that I needed in order to make the change. I finally love myself enough to feel like I am worth it. I am worth more than I have been letting myself be.
So I am slowly losing weight and taking control of my health. For my husband, our marriage, and our future family. Sure, I could stay the size I am now and live a happy and content life. But I'd be missing out on so many things I want to experience with my husband. I'd be missing out on what I could be. In my husband's eyes, I see how he sees me. The best reflection of who I am. And because of that, I want to prove him right in thinking that way about me. I want to be the best I can be.
I also want children with this amazing man. And at my weight, my gynecologist has already made it clear that it wouldn't be an easy undertaking. So, in order to start a family healthily - and not risk mine or my future child's health, I am losing weight.
It's because of this new self-confidence that I am able to finally say enough is enough, and make a complete lifestyle change. I'm moving more and eating less. I am still enjoying the things we've always enjoyed: going out to dinner, going to the movies, having a drink, or anything else we decide to do. But I am doing everything in moderation and it's slowly paying off. I feel healthier overall and I don't get heartburn every night anymore.
Since this is a lifestyle change and not a diet, I decided to not make anything off limits. If we want to go out to eat, we do and I just figure it into my daily calories and plan ahead. If I want some wine, I have some in moderation. Sure, I could be losing weight faster than I am. I could cut my calories down to 1200 instead of the 1750 I am budgeting. I could take away my cheat day where I allow myself a few extra calories so we can go out. And it would probably pay off for awhile. But would it be sustainable? My past has indicated that probably not. Sure, I lose weight - rapidly. But when I do that I am starving, cranky, cut off from my social life, and completely not myself. And usually a month or two in, I give up and gain it all back plus more.
I will not let that happen this time. So, I will plan. I will adjust to what my body needs. I will give into cravings moderately. I will live out my life. And I will also lose the weight. All the weight. If it takes me 3 years, I will.
I am determined. This is my new life.
Start weight: 258.4
Last Friday's weight: 253.6
Current weight: 252.2
Difference: -1.4
Goal weight: 140
I've been doing a lot of thinking about what fuels the changes I am making. I realized that I have spent my entire adult life overweight. I've still lived my life and don't regret a thing because it's made me who I am. However, I want to see what else I am capable of doing now. I am in an amazing marriage with a guy who has easily accepted me at my highest weight, but also wants me to be healthy. And I think I finally have the self-confidence to make this a lifestyle change.
In the past, I would go on a diet because I hated my body. I hated the way I look and was worried about how people saw me. This time, I don't hate myself. I get told I'm beautiful every single day and am starting to actually let it sink in. And, I don't really care how people see me because I know that no matter what, I have someone at home who sees me for the best I ever am. Through the love of my husband, I have learned to love myself in a way I never had before. I'm not unhappy. Actually, I'm the complete opposite. I'm happier than I have been in my entire life. And weirdly, I feel like it's the exact thing that I needed in order to make the change. I finally love myself enough to feel like I am worth it. I am worth more than I have been letting myself be.
So I am slowly losing weight and taking control of my health. For my husband, our marriage, and our future family. Sure, I could stay the size I am now and live a happy and content life. But I'd be missing out on so many things I want to experience with my husband. I'd be missing out on what I could be. In my husband's eyes, I see how he sees me. The best reflection of who I am. And because of that, I want to prove him right in thinking that way about me. I want to be the best I can be.
I also want children with this amazing man. And at my weight, my gynecologist has already made it clear that it wouldn't be an easy undertaking. So, in order to start a family healthily - and not risk mine or my future child's health, I am losing weight.
It's because of this new self-confidence that I am able to finally say enough is enough, and make a complete lifestyle change. I'm moving more and eating less. I am still enjoying the things we've always enjoyed: going out to dinner, going to the movies, having a drink, or anything else we decide to do. But I am doing everything in moderation and it's slowly paying off. I feel healthier overall and I don't get heartburn every night anymore.
Since this is a lifestyle change and not a diet, I decided to not make anything off limits. If we want to go out to eat, we do and I just figure it into my daily calories and plan ahead. If I want some wine, I have some in moderation. Sure, I could be losing weight faster than I am. I could cut my calories down to 1200 instead of the 1750 I am budgeting. I could take away my cheat day where I allow myself a few extra calories so we can go out. And it would probably pay off for awhile. But would it be sustainable? My past has indicated that probably not. Sure, I lose weight - rapidly. But when I do that I am starving, cranky, cut off from my social life, and completely not myself. And usually a month or two in, I give up and gain it all back plus more.
I will not let that happen this time. So, I will plan. I will adjust to what my body needs. I will give into cravings moderately. I will live out my life. And I will also lose the weight. All the weight. If it takes me 3 years, I will.
I am determined. This is my new life.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Busy bee
Things have been absolutely crazy with us moving in 2 weeks, plus me training at work. I feel like I'm going at a dead run with no time to breathe.
Needless to say, counting calories hasn't been as absolute as it has been before. I am trying to round up, but I am estimating a lot when I'm not sure, so I'm either over-counting or under-counting. I do think I'm still doing pretty well though, and at the very least with how busy it's been, I'm getting more movement in.
Managed to lose all I gained over the weekend, but was up a bit this morning again - just slightly though. I'm starting to wonder if I should just weigh in once or twice a week instead of every day since the normal body fluctuations are killing me.
It is 9:45 and I am thinking it's bedtime. Good night interwebs.
Needless to say, counting calories hasn't been as absolute as it has been before. I am trying to round up, but I am estimating a lot when I'm not sure, so I'm either over-counting or under-counting. I do think I'm still doing pretty well though, and at the very least with how busy it's been, I'm getting more movement in.
Managed to lose all I gained over the weekend, but was up a bit this morning again - just slightly though. I'm starting to wonder if I should just weigh in once or twice a week instead of every day since the normal body fluctuations are killing me.
It is 9:45 and I am thinking it's bedtime. Good night interwebs.
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